ABCDEF Whom? An analysis of the real asshole.
In the currently popular song ABCDEFU, singer Gayle, hits us with a catchy chorus (pre-chorus? idgaf), reproduced in part below:
Fuck you and your mom and your sister and your job
And your broke-ass car and that shit you call art
Emphasis added. From these lines we clearly glean young Gayle has broken up with someone, and has reached break-up stage 2—anger. She’s going through the list of things she dislikes about her former partner, for example, the mom, the sister, the job, etc. However, the things she’s later saying fuck you to reveal more about Gayle than the ex. FN1. Perhaps, just perhaps, Gayle is the villain in her own song. This is illustrated when she trashes her ex’s “broke-ass car.” Did she call it a broke-ass car when she was riding around in it? And secretly looked down on the fact that this person had a shitty car? Maybe even resented this person for being a poor?
More revealing is the next item she says fuck and references, “that shit you call art.” Evidently, the person she was dating did not have much money, hence, the broke-ass car. The reference to art suggests the ex does not have a lot of money, because they are trying to make it as an artist. FN2. Which was good enough when they were together, but after the break up? Said “art” is now shit.
These two points indicate the singer is passive aggressive and hates poor people, especially struggling artists. For whatever reason, Gayle held back in the relationship, but the gloves are off now. One can imagine Gayle going to the art shows and telling this person how good their “shit” was, lying directly to their face.
So either the ex’s art truly is shit, and Gayle is a god damn liar, or the person’s “art” is legitimate and Gayle is petty as fuck, hating it now because they broke up. The determination of liar v. petty requires additional details, which we can obtain from the other lyrics.
Let’s begin with an analysis of what Gayle perceives the ex has done wrong, in order of lyrical appearance:
Drives a broke-ass car,
Makes shitty art,
Texted her friends,
Dated a girl she hates, just for attention,
Called her a bitch to everyone,
Tried to start shit,
Put themselves above her.
Driving a broke-ass car and making shitty art are addressed supra, so we don’t need to re-hash it again, and instead turn to #3, Gayle appears resentful over the fact that her ex is texting her friends, to ask questions. FN3. She then adds “they never even liked you in the first place.” The only reason the ex would text friends is if they were still interested in Gayle on some level. However, the ex had no idea Gayle’s friends never liked them. Which, if we’re evaluating whether Gayle is a liar or petty, leans toward her being a liar. The ex would never have texted the friends if they knew the friends did not like them. Gayle lied to the ex either overtly or through omission, just like she lied about liking the ex’s art.
Next, explicitly, Gayle tells us “I’m over it now.” If that’s the case, why does she give a fuck that her ex is dating a girl she hates? She would not have had contact with the girl, as a result of the hate. Gayle would have either learned about the ex dating this girl from mutual friends or social media. So she’s admitting the ex is living rent free in her head. Which makes her petty for judging the two day relationship with this girl she hates. But also makes her a liar for telling us she’s “over it now,” when she clearly isn’t. And if the ex is doing this for attention, they aren’t over Gayle either. So far, that’s three strikes, Gayle lies about being cool with the broke-ass car, liking the shitty art, and being over the ex.
Gayle goes on to admonish the ex for telling everyone she was a bitch, while in the same breath admitting she is now in fact, a bitch. FN4. It’s reasonable for Gayle to lack an appreciation for an ex calling her a bitch. FN 5. Especially if the ex is telling this to “everyone.” Except, since Gayle has transformed into a bitch, isn’t her ex just telling everyone the truth? So the fact that she’s mad about it makes her even more of one?
But now Gayle’s leading us down another rabbit hole. The fact that Gayle is a bitch now, is not disputed. However, the question becomes, when did she become one? And did Gayle only become a bitch in response to the ex calling her friends? Is she upset the ex isn’t taking a hint and getting over her, while at the same time, she’s not over the ex? Or was she a bitch the entire time? The determination of when Gayle became a bitch is essential to this analysis because if she only became a bitch after the break up, the ex is justified in calling her one. But if she secretly hated the broke ass car and shitty art the entire time they were together, she’s been a lying bitch, possibly for years.
Let’s dig into the true meaning of what it is to be a bitch. A bitch is “a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman.” Gayle is 17 years old. FN6. As an american teenager, she already would have already developed selfishness as part of her personality, so this is pre-existing. More likely, the bitch Gayle has become is either malicious or unpleasant, or both. Is someone unpleasant if they tell their ex “fuck your mom?” Yes. But context is important. We know Gayle met the ex’s mom, sister, dog, and friends. Her relationship with her ex was long enough to warrant these introductions. And in light of Gayle lying about the “broke-ass car” and “shit you call art,” we can infer, as seasoned listeners, that Gayle is being more than unpleasant by saying “fuck you and your mom,” she’s being malicious—actively intending to cause harm to the ex with her mean spirited words.
So the ex told “everyone” Gayle is a bitch, based on her post break up actions, which to get meta, include writing a song to tell her ex “fuck you.” Gayle readily concedes this point. However, the bitch Gayle transformed herself into after the relationship, is much more nefarious, and one of malice. In classic Gayle fashion, she’s playing the victim, when realistically, the complaints about her ex stem from her lies and pettiness.
In sum, as illustrated above, more factors weigh towards a finding that Gayle is a god damn liar, even though there’s plenty of petty. FN 7. Ask yourself, what’s worse? Lying about liking someone’s shitty art and/or broke-ass car, or telling everyone someone is a bitch, when they admit they are one and write a song saying fuck your mom?
Every time this song comes on, I can’t help but wonder if Gayle was being disingenuous about liking the shitty art and broke-ass car. What else are you lying to me about Gayle? What are the things you will only be honest about once we break up?
Nevertheless, this song is a BOP and I almost got a speeding ticket screaming it out the window while I was driving. Delicious.
8/8 lemniscates.
Footnotes:
FN1. Gayle reveals the song is inspired by her ex, ergo, she’s the one giving out the f u, not just some hypothetical speaker
FN2. We know the ex has a job, because Gayle says fuck it.
FN3. “Now you're textin' all my friends asking questions”
FN4. “Told everyone I'm a bitch, so I became it”
FN5. To be clear, I despise when women are called bitches. We’re all assholes, there’s no need to make a special word for women.
FN6. “…I am seventeen and still growing up.”
FN7. We’re not getting into “tried to start shit” or “put yourself above me” because Gayle’s already lied to us too many times to make either of these claims credible.